Mediation

A note before we begin: Everything here is for general information only — it is not legal advice, and it is not a substitute for talking with an attorney about your specific situation.

Your Situation

If you are going through a divorce, legal separation, or any parenting dispute in Colorado, there's a very good chance you'll be asked — or ordered — to try mediation before a judge hears your case. Mediation is a meeting where a neutral person helps you and the other party talk through disagreements and try to reach your own agreement, rather than having a judge decide everything for you. Colorado courts lean heavily on this approach, and in many cases it's a required step before you can get a contested hearing scheduled.

This matters because mediation is often faster, cheaper, and less stressful than a courtroom fight — and because agreements you reach yourself tend to fit your family better than anything a judge could impose. But it also matters because what you agree to in mediation can become a binding court order, which means you can give up important rights if you walk in unprepared. This guide will help you understand what mediation involves, how to get ready, what it costs, what happens if it doesn't work, and how to protect yourself along the way.

What the Law Requires

Colorado courts have broad authority to order mediation in family law cases. A judge can order you into mediation to help form, modify, or carry out a parenting plan, to resolve a parenting time dispute, to address grandparent visitation compliance, or before a hearing on post-secondary (college) education expenses. When child support is disputed — for example, if one parent claims support isn't being spent on the children — the court can also refer the parties to a mediator, with the requesting party paying the cost.

When a court orders mediation in a domestic relations case, it issues a formal order referring your claims to mediation and setting a deadline to complete it. That order can cover more than just parenting — it can include property and financial issues too. A few firm rules apply:

• You must personally attend. The default is in-person attendance. Participating by phone is only allowed if you arrange it with the mediator in advance.
• Costs are split equally between the parties unless you agree otherwise. Neither side can force the other to pay the whole bill without agreement.
• A mediator cannot give you legal advice. The mediator's only job is to help you reach an agreement — not to protect your rights or flag legal issues for you.
• Almost everything said in mediation is confidential and can't be used against you later in court. The two main exceptions are the agreement to mediate itself and any final written agreement you sign.
• You can decline mediation if you are a victim of physical or psychological abuse by the other party and are unwilling to participate.
• You can't be blocked from court just because you didn't pay the mediator. A payment dispute with a mediator does not shut you out of your case.

💡

Mediation is voluntary in one crucial sense: even when a judge orders you to attend, you are never required to reach an agreement — if you can't agree, the unresolved issues go to the judge.

After mediation ends, Colorado's process requires you to file a certificate telling the court how it went. The guided wizard on this site will prepare and pre-fill that paperwork for you, so you don't have to track down and complete the right form by hand. If you want to be excused from mediation entirely, there's a motion for that too, and the wizard can prepare it — the recognized grounds include a prior failed ADR attempt, being a victim of abuse by the other party, or any other case-specific reason you explain in writing.

What Courts Typically Do

In practice, many Colorado judicial officers require an attempt at mediation before they'll allow a contested hearing — this is true in divorce, parenting disputes, and even contempt matters. After you file a motion, courts typically have several options: decide the issue on the paperwork alone, order you to mediation, or set a hearing. When mediation is ordered in a parenting time dispute or contempt case, courts commonly require you to report the results back within 63 days.

Courts give you flexibility in choosing a mediator. The court sometimes assigns one, but you're not locked into that person — both parties can agree on someone else. Anyone can serve as a mediator in Colorado. The state's Office of Dispute Resolution is one common option, and private mediators and mediation organizations are available too.

If mediation doesn't resolve things, that's not a dead end. Courts recognize partial agreements — anything you settle is resolved, and only the leftover issues go to a hearing. And in high-conflict parenting cases, if mediation is inappropriate or unsuccessful, courts may move to the next step, such as appointing a parenting coordinator. Outcomes vary widely depending on your facts, the issues involved, and how much common ground exists going in.

Step by Step: What to Do

1. Read your court's order carefully. If the court has ordered mediation, note the deadline and the specific issues you're required to mediate. The order lists exactly what's on the table — children, property, finances, or some combination.

2. Decide whether mediation is right for you. If you are a victim of physical or psychological abuse by the other party, or if you've already tried mediation and believe more won't help, you may be able to ask the court to excuse you. The guided wizard can prepare that exemption motion and the required proof that you served the other party.

3. Find a mediator. You can use a court-assigned mediator or agree on your own. The Colorado Office of Dispute Resolution offers referrals, advice on what to ask when choosing a mediator, and financial help. The Mediation Association of Colorado and the Colorado Courts mediator search tool are other options. If cost is a barrier, you may qualify for reduced-fee services — and if the court waived your filing fees within the past six months, you can send that waiver order to the mediator instead of filling out a separate fee-reduction request.

4. Consult your own attorney before you go. The mediator won't advise you on your legal rights. Getting independent legal advice first means you'll understand what you can afford to give up and what you shouldn't. If you can't afford an attorney, know that the court can sometimes order one spouse to help pay the other's fees.

5. Gather and share your relevant documents. Colorado's mediation agreements require each party to share all relevant information and documents — the same things you'd exchange in formal discovery. Concealing or misrepresenting facts can cause a resulting agreement to be set aside.

6. Attend the session in person (unless the mediator approved a phone arrangement) and participate in good faith. If both of you and the mediator are genuinely working toward settlement, you can ask the court to continue a pending hearing to a set date so you can focus on it.

7. Don't sign anything without review. The mediator may draft a Memorandum of Understanding — a written record of what you agreed to. Have your own attorney review it before you sign. Once signed, that document can be submitted to the court and, if approved, becomes enforceable as a court order.

8. File the compliance certificate. Whether you settle everything, part, or nothing, you must tell the court how mediation went. The guided wizard will prepare and pre-fill that certificate and any accompanying agreement for you, and remind you to serve it on the other party. Failing to comply with the court's order can result in sanctions.

What Research Shows Can Help

The items available here speak more to the law and court process than to social-science findings, so there's limited research-based guidance to offer on mediation specifically. What the available material does emphasize is that Colorado law itself recognizes it is in everyone's best interest — especially children's — for parents to resolve post-divorce disputes amicably and fairly, and that a stated goal of the law is to reduce the harm the dissolution process can cause to spouses, children, and parent-child relationships. Reaching your own agreement, rather than having one imposed, is consistent with that aim.

What to Do Today

• Check your court order (or your filed motion) for any mediation deadline — many parenting and contempt orders require results reported back within 63 days, and missing that can mean sanctions.
• Start the guided wizard to prepare the compliance certificate, any agreement documents, or an exemption motion — whichever your situation calls for — so the paperwork isn't what holds you up.
• Look up a mediator through the Colorado Office of Dispute Resolution, the Mediation Association of Colorado, or the Colorado Courts search tool, and ask about reduced-fee options if cost is tight.
• Call an attorney for a consultation before your session so you understand your rights before you negotiate anything away.
• If abuse is a factor, know you can decline court-ordered mediation — begin documenting the basis for an exemption request today.

Related Issues to Be Aware Of

• High-conflict communication. Mediation is often where co-parents first try to rebuild a working channel of communication. A good parenting plan can set the methods and frequency for how you communicate about your child, which is especially valuable when conflict runs high — see how to manage high-conflict co-parenting communication. Remember too that the standard parenting plan already requires both parents to share health-provider contacts and keep each other updated on address and phone changes.

• Creating the parenting plan. If parenting is on the table, mediation is your chance to shape the plan yourselves rather than leaving it to a judge. Courts decide parenting time based on the child's best interests, weighing factors like each parent's past involvement and the child's adjustment to home and school — understanding how parenting plans are created will help you negotiate from a stronger, more informed position.

• Attorney fees and court costs. Mediation is generally cheaper than litigation, but it still costs money, split equally by default. If you can't afford it, note that a Colorado court can order one spouse to contribute to the other's attorney fees and costs based on each party's financial resources, and that request can be made early in the case.

• Collaborative divorce. If mediation isn't the right fit, collaborative divorce is another out-of-court option where both parties use attorneys committed to settling without litigation. A key trade-off to understand: if a collaborative case fails and heads to court, those attorneys are disqualified and each party must hire new counsel.